September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and this year's global theme, set by the International Association for Suicide Prevention and supported by the World Health Organization, is “Changing the Narrative on Suicide.” The idea behind it is simple: silence and misunderstanding do not protect people. Open, compassionate conversation does.
Many of us worry about saying the wrong thing to someone we love who seems to be struggling. That worry often leads to saying nothing at all. But research consistently shows that asking someone directly whether they are thinking about suicide does not plant the idea or increase their risk. It opens a door. For many people, being asked is the first time someone has taken their pain seriously enough to name it out loud.
Signs worth paying attention to
There is no single sign that reliably predicts a crisis, and everyone's experience is different. Still, some changes are worth noticing, especially when several appear together or represent a real shift from how someone usually is: withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy; talking about feeling like a burden, feeling trapped, or having no reason to keep going; giving away meaningful possessions; sudden calm after a period of visible distress; increased use of alcohol or drugs; changes in sleeping or eating; or direct statements about wanting to die or not wanting to be here anymore.
Any of these on their own does not mean someone is suicidal. But if something feels different or your gut tells you to check in, that instinct is worth trusting.
How to ask
There is no perfect script, but directness helps more than euphemism. Asking “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “Are you having thoughts of ending your life?” is clearer and safer than dancing around the question with something like “You're not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?” Direct language signals that you are ready to hear a real answer, whatever it is.
Choose a private moment, without distractions or time pressure. Lead with genuine concern rather than alarm: “I've noticed you haven't seemed like yourself lately, and I care about you. I want to ask you something direct.” Then ask, and then do the hardest part: listen. Let them answer fully before responding. You do not need to fix anything in that moment. You need to hear them.
What to avoid
Avoid minimizing what they share (“it's not that bad”), avoid unsolicited advice or comparisons to others' struggles, and avoid promising to keep it a secret. Suicidal thoughts are serious enough to involve others who can help, even if that feels like breaking a confidence in the moment. You can be honest about that: “I care about you too much to keep this just between us. Let's figure out who else can help.”
Connecting them to support
If someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, you do not have to handle it alone. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7/365 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org, and you can call together, sit with them while they text, or help them find the number for later. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. For ongoing, non-crisis support, connecting someone with a therapist is one of the most meaningful things you can offer.
Radiant Recovery & Counseling has a full clinical team handling exactly this kind of ongoing support, in both Minnesota and Georgia. Team members whose work focuses on anxiety, depression, and trauma-related care include Brian Sager, MSW, LICSW; Aida Ibrahim, LPCC; Ulaine Jean-Baptiste, LAMFT; and Johanna Walker, MSW. You can view the full team to find the right fit. Support is available through secure telehealth for eligible clients in Minnesota and Georgia, including culturally responsive care that recognizes how differently mental health struggles and help-seeking are understood across communities and backgrounds.
One conversation will not solve everything, and it is not meant to. What it can do is let someone know they are not carrying this alone, and that reaching out is possible. That is the whole point of changing the narrative: from silence to conversation, from isolation to connection.
If you are the one struggling
If you are having thoughts of suicide, you deserve support too, whether or not anyone has asked. You do not have to wait for someone else to notice. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any time, for any reason. You are not a burden, and you are not alone.